


But I Had To Go

by Capspandex



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, Fluff, M/M, Phone Calls, Pittsburgh Penguins, Sad, Vegas Golden Knights, more like expansion draft angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 08:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11353764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capspandex/pseuds/Capspandex
Summary: They all knew, Kris knew, Marc knew it all to well. He had to go and the emotions ran high.  || can be read as a continuation of the silence tells us all we need





	But I Had To Go

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. This is mostly unbeta'd except for lara fixing some grammar stuff  
> 2\. This can be read as a part II of can be read as a continuation of [ "The Silence Tells Us All We Need" ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10155083)  
> 3\. I hope you enjoy and sorry it's angsty

Kris knew it was coming from 29 miles away and it ripped his heart of his chests as if he was a diehard fan watching from his living room couch, which to some extent, he was. He wanted to cry and pretend Marc, his Marc, the one he loved for years wasn't gone. He felt so weak knowing he couldn't even finish his last season with him, one last goalie tap on the head, and one last on ice chirp. He didn't get that opportunity which almost felt worse than losing him to expansion itself. Kris felt so remorseful, as if he didn't cherish his years with Marc enough. He thought so much about that night in Chicago in the hotel room, crying in Marc’s arms knowing all to well it could've been their last moments together. He just wanted to wait for Marc to call, he wanted to let himself pretend this wasn't real and he'd have another fourteen years with Marc. His phone did ring late that night, really early that morning. Kris was in a groggy state, but still awake and picked it up, “hello”, he said.

“Hi, it's Marc,” Marc said.

“How's Vegas? Are the casinos treating you well?” kris said trying to make light of the situation he was in. 

Marc laughed and said “I think so, how are you?”

“I'm honestly stupidly upset and I'm going to fucking miss you, like I love you, you mean a lot to me but you'll have your job back,” Kris said. 

“I love you a lot and thank you for understanding,” Marc said with a much more emotional tone in his voice. 

Kris hung up. He wanted to cry even though he knew he'd get to spend probably at least July with Marc and that he'd only be in Vegas for PR for a few more days but he cried. He grabbed a beer and cried his eyes out. He knew what Marc did was best for him, especially with a hefty contract like he had, but it still hurt. The core was dying and Marc was the first to go. Kris didn't know why he was crying watching some shitty flopped marvel movie at four in the morning on his fourth beer at this point. He was too buzzed and puffy eyed to think about the pain he was feeling. 

He woke up at two something in the afternoon with five missed calls from Marc, a couple texts from Sid, and hideously large amount of twitter notifications. He still felt buzzed, but nearly forgot what happened the night before. He picked up his phone, cleared his notifications, answered Sid, and called Marc again. 

“Hello”, Marc said. 

“Hi, sorry for not answering”, Kris replied. 

“It's okay, are you alright?”

“I drank four beers and cried while watching shitty movies last night”

“I'm sorry”

“It's okay I guess. I made a stupid decision.”

“I love you, man”

“Thanks”

“Anyway, can you pick me up at the airport on the 30th?”

“Yeah sure”

“Bye”

“Bye”

It was Marc who hung up that time. 

Kris showed up at the airport relatively put together and opened his trunk so Marc could put his luggage in and Marc let himself into the car. 

“I missed you”, Marc said. 

“I missed you too”, Kris replied. 

They didn't talk the car ride to Marc’s house. They listened to the radio and cherished every little touch of hands on the way back knowing how little of it they have left. Kris dropped Marc off with a subtle goodbye and uncertainty in his voice. He didn't even know why he was doing this, why he was caring, why he even bothered to do this. His inner self was raging at Marc’s selfless and selfish decision. I mean they all knew how it would effect the core and locker room energy and the next season would be a rough start, especially with Kris himself still having more neck recovery to go through. Kris thought maybe he was being selfish, because he just wanted Marc to have considered him more. 

Kris drove back to his own home listening to nothing but sad songs from his phone plugged into the auxiliary cord and he watched the blue sky with fluffy clouds turn into one of deep tones and sad, heavy, grey clouds. He didn't mind though, the sound of the drizzling summer rain complimented the music nicely and in some sense was beautiful to look at. He opened his garage, parked his car, unplugged his phone, and stepped outside. He let the rain fall on him, fuck up his perfect hair, and soak through his shirt. The rain seemed to be going down harder every second and it was okay. Kris was too sad to care about his care or his usually pristine looks. He went into his house, dried off, laid down on the couch with a blanket and let the sound of the rain send him into rest. The overly excessive buzzing of his iPhone awoke him. It was a text from Marc saying he was coming over. 

The knock at the door came a few minutes later and kris was a wreck wearing nothing but boxers and a damp white t shirt and his hair was ruffled into a mess. It was Marc though, and Marc really wouldn't mind how awful he looked. He opened the door to find a somewhat disheveled Marc. The upset on his face was prevalent, his usually backwards hat was nearly to the side, his shirt was also a mess from the rain, and his shorts were probably from Penguins preseason of 2007. Kris didn't mind, and he was pretty sure Marc didn't either. He motioned for Marc to come in and they went to the couch instinctively. 

“I'm sorry”, Marc said. 

“If you're sorry why did you go? Our hearts are broken.”, Kris replied almost too dramatically and drastically. 

“Cap space, the future, my own want to start more often, I guess”, The fellow French-Canadian responded, with a heavy heart. 

“We could've worked a deal out and both you and Matt are incredible, and you probably could start more soon”, Kris tried to rebuttal. 

“I know, but I had to go…we all knew that”, Marc-Andre replied, with tears forming in his eyes. 

Kris was crying too, the ugly kind of crying where someone wants nobody to ever see them like that. It was just Marc, Kris thought, and that was okay. He knocked Marc’s hat off his face and wiped the tears from under his eyes, pressed a kiss to his cheek and whispered to him it would all be okay in the end. They laid there in silence, wrapped up in each other, giving small, desperate kisses, begging for the touch of hands. Kris ended up in his favorite place where he could just forget. He was lying in Marc’s chest and Marc played with his now incredibly messy hair. Kris almost forgot Marc was gone, but Marc knew it all too well. He thought about their almost last night in Chicago. He remembered how restless they were and sad and desperate. They were so silent and knew each other’s bodies and minds like maps. He yearned for another night like that, just to be in love, not to be on his way. It was as if Kris read his mind and got up and kissed his chapped lips. Marc nearly smiled, for the first time since media day in Vegas, and not smiling was a rarity for him. Eventually Marc got up to leave but Kris grabbed his shirt and whined to him: “stay the night, please”. Marc responded with, “who could ever say no to you, _amoureux_ ”


End file.
